..........and now, some humor at the expense of musicians.

Life is pretty serious in the life of a musician. Here are a few descriptions that will make the struggles in our lives have true meaning..............
Why do obnoxious whistles exist at some factories? To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
What is different about seeing a dead racoon and a dead saxophonist in the road? The racoon has skid marks in front of the body.
What is the difference between a trumpet player and a Hezbollah terriorist? You can negotiate with the terriorist.
What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless.
How many flute players does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. She holds the bulb while the world revolves around her.
What is the difference in a saxophone and a lawnmower? Lawnmowers sound better in small ensembles.
How do you get two piccolos to play in tune? Shoot one.
How many clarinetists does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but he'll go through an entire box of bulbs before finding just the right one.
What do you call a bass clarinetist with half a brain? Gifted.
How many trumpet players does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. One to handle the bulb and four to tell him how much better they could have done it.
What is the definition of a gentleman? Somebody who knows how to play the trombone, but doesn't.
How many trombonists does it take to change a lightbulb? Eight. One to change the bulb and seven to stand around and make lude sexual comments while he does it.
It is difficult to trust anyone whose instrument changes shape as he plays it!
What is the range of a french horn? About 20 yards if you have a good arm.
These three tuba players pass a bar.....well, it could happen!
How do you confuse a drummer? Put a sheet of music in front of him.
How many conductors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one. But then again, who is really watching? ................and there it is!!!!