..........Friday Funnies!!!

Wow, it's been a while since the last edition of Friday Funnies. The football game just got cancelled (lots of rain from what is left of Hurricane Humberto)! That's cause to celebrate with some great humor. Enjoy.............

Earlier today was the big Iraq report. General Petraeus said the troops can start coming home next summer. ... I believe his exact words were, 'And then it's Hillary's mess.'" --David Letterman

"Another big day on Capitol Hill. General Petraeus testified again today before Congress about the Iraq war. Some Democrats are claiming that Petraeus' answers are scripted by President Bush. Which explains Petraeus' use of the word 'surgerrific.'" --Conan O'Brien

"Petraeus gave his progress report on Iraq to Congress. Many of the senators commented to the general. Senator Barbara Boxer said Petraeus was overly optimistic; Mel Martinez of Florida thanked the general; Senator Larry Craig of Idaho said, 'There's something about a man in uniform.'" --Jay Leno

"With most of the country against the war, our top military man in Iraq, General Petraeus, says he does not know if the war is making us safer. ... In fact, for a lot people, it's more dangerous ... like Republicans." --Jay Leno

"A New Orleans prostitute has come forward and said she has had sex with married Louisiana Senator David Vitter two or three times a week over a four-month period. This is actually good news for the Republicans. Finally a sex scandal involving a woman." --Jay Leno

"Senator Vitter is denying this woman's allegations. Who are you gonna believe? A U.S. senator or a hooker? I've gotta go with the hooker." --Jay Leno

"Yesterday, General David Petraeus testified before the Senate for 10 hours with just two bathroom breaks. During the same period, Senator Larry Craig took 73 bathroom breaks." --Conan O'Brien

"Restroom enthusiast Senator Larry Craig said today the only reason he plead guilty to that incident in the Minneapolis airport bathroom was because he was being hounded by reporters investigating rumors that he was gay. And what better way to shoot down those rumors, really." --Jay Leno