..........loyalty.

The concept of loyalty is an important part of ethics. Plato originally said that only a man who is just can be loyal, and that loyalty is a condition of genuine philosophy. The philosopher Josiah Royce said it was the supreme moral good, and that one's devotion to an object mattered more than the merits of the object itself. Loyalty is a quality you look for in a friend.

This will take a vast turn from my usual political rants and raves. The concept of loyalty has been something that I've thought a great deal about in the past few weeks. Maybe I'm way off base with the things that I expect from people. As a teacher I probably shouldn't expect loyalty from my students, but I do. I think the problem lies in the fact that I'm way too passionate about what I do. Teaching music and providing learning experiences for my students has always been at the forefront of my ideology. I came to the mountains of North Carolina with great vision and enthusiasm to teach. I've worked hard through the years, and I think that I've made some difference in the way my students experience music. It didn't take long for me to realize that nine-tenths of administrative types in the school system didn't value what I was doing; and as a result, their opinion mattered less and less to me. It has always been about the students for me. I get a great deal of satisfaction from seeing and hearing the band students perform. Every school year brings me a new group, with new challenges, new leaders, and a platform from which to achieve success. I always go into each semester with enthusiasm and the willingness to do whatever I can to make the experience of "band" better for the students.

Now for the problem.......We are having a horrible problem keeping students involved in the program. The option to stay in the band, make some great music, and enjoy the praise of the audience is becoming less attractive to my students, and I don't know what the problem is. I often blame it on myself. What have I done? What have I left undone? In my career, I've made many Superior ratings with our groups, the marching band has won Band of the Day awards, we've performed on the lawn of the US Capitol, for wounded veterans at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, at the FedEx Orange Bowl, the Toyota Gator Bowl, the AutoZone Liberty Bowl, the Nokia Sugar Bowl, and most recently the BCS National Championship Bowl. We've performed an won numerous awards in regional holiday parades; as well as performances at Walt Disney World, Sea World, and Universal Studios, Orlando. I've taken bands to every state in the southeastern United States and the District of Columbia. Somehow, it just seems like all this has not been enough - the students are not coming into the program any more. In the past twenty-seven years I've constantly read articles, taken classes, attended clinics, observed other directors, and asked questions of those who know; all with the intention of providing a better experience for my students. I've used my own money to help pay for trips, buy letter jackets, and instruments for my students. I've spent numerous hours at honor clinics, camps, performances, and rehearsals; many of which were during the summer or other vacation times. I've listened to students' personal problems and offered advice. With all this, I think the only thing that I expected from the students was loyalty. Give back to the program that which you have gained from it. When I have a student quit the program, I take it personally, and I know that is part of the problem. You see, I've expected loyalty in return for my efforts. Maybe I'm the one who is off base? Maybe the true mark of an educator should be to give and not expect anything at all in return? If the latter is true, then my philosophy of education has been wrong for over a quarter of a century.

I had a professor in college that convinced me that she didn't want me to succeed. I developed that theory after I failed two of her courses. I never had an instructor like her in all my life! It was quite simple; she presented the material and expected all her students to work and achieve. She expected the same performance from all of us and didn't want to hear excuses. I left college not getting the point of her offering to me. It wasn't until many years later that I realized all that she had done for me. As a result of this epiphany, I wrote her a letter to express how much I appreciated all that she had done for me. She sent me the nicest letter in return. This instructor devoted her life to sharing her knowledge with all of us, and it was greatly appreciated. It seems only right that we, her students, should express our appreciation to her. In her return letter to me she stated how proud she was that I didn't give-up at a time when I was being greatly challenged. At that point, I knew how much her teaching had influenced me as a teacher.

Society is changing for whatever reason(s), and I guess I'm not keeping abreast with many of the changes. As I go into the twilight of my career, I feel like I finally know what I'm doing. Why, then, are my students leaving me at this point? I almost feel betrayed. I do feel a great deal of hurt. In the past years, I have become more understanding and less harsh than in any other time in my career. I'll retire after one more year of teaching, and I fear that I will leave my profession as a failure. If I was a success, the students would not be leaving the program. I haven't drastically changed my method of instruction, the time spent on our activities has been constant for about 10+ years, and I still have the enthusiasm. I've just lost the need for my students to feel any loyalty to me or the program. We're losing more students who could come back to the program in the next year as we are graduates. I don't guess there's much of an answer to my plight. I guess that I'll have to just "suck it up" and do the best I can with what I have. I've always found a great refuge in music and teaching. Teaching has been a true opportunity for me and has defined who I am in this society. I hope that I've made a positive difference and I hope that I've been able to teach some real values while presenting the material. At this point, I question my accomplishment.