..........I love a good bumper sticker!
One of the best I've seen in a while isn't listed above. I was in the drive-thru line at Hardee's the other day when I saw this one on the back window of a truck that may or may not have been quite road worthy.............No longer will we tolerate being called Hillbilly-Rednecks. From this point forward, we will be referred to as "Appalachian-Americans".
posted by Scott @ 11:53 AM
1 comments
1 Comments:
Someone sent these to me. I figured you might like them.
1: "One more time, people!
This actually means 5 or more times extra
2: "Practice ends at..."
Plan for at least a half hour after that
3: "We won't have rehearsal on..."
This is never true.
4: "You need to have this memorized by..."
Two weeks before the date given
5: "This is the last thing we're doing tonight."
Besides the other things I have planned after this.
6: "Be here by..."
Show up at 6:30 AM. Just do it.
7: "I'll be happy to provide extra help.."
When hell freezes over.
8: "The boosters will get us enough money to do it"
When the boosters stop wasting our money on useless items.
9: "Don't worry, I've seen this pulled off before, you'll be fine."
Make sure EMS is on speed dial.
10: "I care about your safety."
But the safety of the instrument is paramount.
11: "We're going to take it easy today because it's hot out."
That just means you actually get a water break today.
12: "Free Time"
Never happens. EVER.
13: "Camp is easier than you think"
Once you ignore the 3 people passed out on the sidelines.
14: "Don't worry, the football team never comes out this far."
BAM! Half the bleachers are taken out.
15: "I've checked the weather."
I'm guessing.
16: "This drill move is # counts."
But we might have to cut it in half. Be prepared to jazz run
17: "Optional" or "Extra Credit"
This is required, but I'm too nice to say it.
18: "There will be plenty of parking for your parents."
3 miles away from the venue.
19: "Food will be provided."
By yourself.
20: "You can say no to this if you want."
But it's an unacceptable answer, and it's going to happen anyways
21: "You can learn this"
If you can forget how to sleep, so you can practice.
22: "Your instrument will be fine, it's just a little scratch"
$4000 of damage
23: "Leave it on my desk, I'll deal with it after practice."
You'll never see it again.
24: "Don't worry, I'll talk to them."
I'm going to chicken out. Deal with it yourself.
25: "It's going to rain, but it won't be bad."
It's just a monsoon.
26: "We won't have to have any fundraisers this year!"
Except that I'm spending 10 grand on the colorguard uniforms. So after we pay for that, we'll just be out of the red!
27: "You can play whatever instrument you want."
We have 12 tubas. Pick one.
28: "You'll like the music I've selected."
I was on heroin when I picked it.
29: "It's not that far away."
300 miles, in the scheme of things, isn't that far.
30: "I'll let you know the details."
I'll forget them when I figure them out, though.
31: "We'll let your rides know when we're almost back"
Fat chance. Call them yourselves.
32: "It's going to be a smooth season."
Only 3 murders are expected.
33: "The crowd will appreciate all of your hard work."
From the concession or bathroom line.
34: "There's enough room on the truck."
Put your marimba on your lap.
35: "I love this school, and my job here."
Translates to: "I haven't figured out painless suicide yet."
36: "You'll have a hard copy of this soon."
As soon as you copy it yourself.
37: "We have plenty of uniforms and parts for everyone."
But I didn't anticipate this many small children.
38: "This is the best (season, band, show, etc.) I've ever had as a director!"
You've made me reconsider the option of early retirement.
39: "This show is really unique."
I stole it from an old friend.
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