..........Friday funnies!!!

"The Democrats are trying to turn these firings of U.S. attorneys into a partisan issue, but the president is above bickering. In fact, he made a generous peace offering. Karl Rove and Harriet Miers would submit to private interviews, but 'they would not take oaths nor would a transcript be made available.' See, the president is just trying to save this country from another painful perjury trial." ----Stephen Colbert

"Some Republicans in Washington are looking for a replacement for Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, but apparently, they need to find an experienced legal mind that President Bush is comfortable with. As a result, the number one candidate is Judge Judy." ----Stephen Colbert

"We've had unseasonably warm weather here in Los Angeles. Today, I was sweating like Newt Gengrich watching 'Cheaters'". ----Jay Leno

"It's March Madness. I know people go crazy for this. It's that time of the year when college basketball teams are eliminated faster than U.S. attorneys." ----Bill Maher

"Hooters announced it's opening up its first restaurant in the Holy Land. Upon hearing this, Bill Clinton said, 'As far as I'm concerned, Hooters is the Holy Land.'" ----Conan O'Brien

"According to some new recently declassifed documents, Iraq pretended to have weapons of mass destruction to prevent themselves from being attacked. Well, that plan worked well." ----Jay Leno

"This month marked the fourth anniversary of the war in Iraq. When asked about it, President Bush said, 'See, and people said it would never last.'" ----Conan O'Brien

"Khalid Shaikh Mohammed confessed to being the mastermind behind the 9/11 attacks. he also said he planned 29 other attacks. Because of this, they said he could lose his New York City taxi cab driver license." ----Jay Leno

And last, a statement made by Storm Trooper of the Reich Wing, Rush Limbaugh. He stated this on his radio show concerning Valerie Plame..............."I have to tell you something , folks. After all is said and done, I, frankly, don't care. This woman is a babe. this woman is a babe, and if she weren't married, I don't care what she's done or what her political affiliation is, I'd be throwing my hat in the ring."

Have a great Friday!!!