..........time for a little humor.

Great Quotes For those of you who would like to improve your outlook on life...

If God wanted most of us to see the sunrise, He would have scheduled it later in the day.

Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

He who hesitates is probably right.

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

It's always darkest before you step on the cat's tail.

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Bob Dole's Viagra ad, "I didn't win the Presidency, but with Viagra I can act like I did!"

If you don't care where you are, you ain't lost.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view.

The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

The severity of the itch is proportional to the reach.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

Always try to be modest. And be damn proud of it!

If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple of payments.

Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Borrow money from pessimists-they don't expect it back.

A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
And finally ...

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.