..........Friday Funnies.

How 'bout a little Cowboy Diplomacy for those guys in Iran!!! In his latest press conference, President Bush said; "Just wait 'til you see the new mechanical bull that Dick and the boys in Texas got for me." To get the full story, take a look at this link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OH8WGjNf2A0

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg is leaving the Republican Party and becoming an Independent, possibly to prepare for a White House run. Well nice try, Bloomberg. You can't just choose to be Independent. It's not like being gay." --Stephen Colbert

"Kind of a scandal brewing for presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani. ... Yesterday, a top aide to Rudy Giuliani was busted for possessing and distributing cocaine. When asked about it, Giuliani said, 'Cocaine? I asked him to get me Rogaine'" --Conan O'Brien

"President Bush was in Albania. He thought he was going to Albany. Anyway, he ended up in Albania ... and somebody stole his watch. Bush is upset. He is really angry. He said he now has no choice but to bomb Iran." --David Letterman

"I was going through the files and I believe he is the first president to be robbed since ... well, Al Gore" --David Letterman

"On Tuesday, Republican frontrunner Rudy Giuliani released a slate of campaign pledges he calls the 'Twelve Commitments,' including sets of gems as 1. I will keep America on offense in the terrorists' war on us; 5. I will impose accountability on Washington; 8. I will survive; and 12. I will issue commitments in easily mockable list form." --Jon Stewart"'Rudy's promises to America.' Yes, Rudolph Giuliani always keeps his promises, unless he makes them to you as you're marrying him" --Jon Stewart

"The Pentagon has admitted they once tried to develop a gay bomb -- a bomb that would turn enemy soldiers gay. They said their goal was to turn the Iraq war into a musical. ... Gay bomb? Talk about a troop surge. ... I believe the main ingredients in the gay bomb are an agent orange with a chartreuse accent." --Jay Leno

"Vice President Dick Cheney is going into surgery. He's having a new pacemaker installed. ... Doctors are confident that Cheney will be up and sneering in no time." --David Letterman

"After serving eight years in jail, assisted suicide doctor Jack Kevorkian was on 'Larry King Live.' When Kevorkian saw Larry King, he said, 'I swear, he was like that when I got here'" --Conan O'Brien

Congratulations to the Anaheim Ducks. They won the Stanley Cup Championship. I believe this is the biggest victory for ducks since Dick Cheney shot that lawyer in the face." --Jay Leno

Enjoy your weekend!!! Oh, and I almost forgot..........happy post #100 to Beware of the Elephant in Tall Grass!!!